im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
