it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
