I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
