:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
