yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
