There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
