my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
