I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
