I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
