i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize