before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
