Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
