Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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