Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize