what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
