idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I pour the whiskey from now on
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
