so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
