smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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