how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
