I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
