Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
