im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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