So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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