he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
