no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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