VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
