So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
