i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
