Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
