i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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