Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
