Plan B is the new Plan A
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
