My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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