Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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