You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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