Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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