I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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