I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
