What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
apparently the secret to your success is patron
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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