I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Quick, to the slutcave!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
