You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize