Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
