when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
