she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
