As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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