Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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