We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
