I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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