One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
