O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
