It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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