Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
