K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
