Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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