Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
